I spent an hour on the phone recently coaching someone who has the same kind of problems that each of us has in our workplaces, although I think some would think that his may be unique.

Let’s call him Mark.

Mark’s major issue is that the regional federal agency he runs has no direct funding and is dependent on what, in the nonprofit world, would be called “fundraising” from the other federal agencies it seeks to serve in its region.

Use of the agency’s services, which constitute mostly training, while clearly of benefit to government employees, is strictly voluntary: the choice to use those training services is almost exclusively on an individual-by-individual basis—not on an agency-by-agency or even a department-by-department-within-each-agency basis. Without a mandate or even a recommendation from management, there are too few takers. Consequently, he cancels a lot of programs.

Additionally, the heads of those dozen or so federal agencies he serves in his region sit on what amounts to his “board of directors” and almost all of them “out-rank” him. In the time he’s been in the job, he’s been unable to get their attention—forget about getting them engaged.

Oh, one more thing: Mark is his entire staff. If he needs staff assistance, say for an event or a special project, his only option is to go to one of those agencies and beg for it.

It’s a frustrating situation, and Mark is understandably frustrated.

It’s a “temporary assignment” of about three years, which means that Mark could just sit back and “do his time,” as some of his peers in the other regions appear to be doing, except that (1) that isn’t who Mark is (I could tell that within the first ten minutes of the call), (2) Mark actually believes in the services his agency can provide and, (3) Mark is noticing that his frustration is increasingly being expressed through cynicism and he doesn’t like that trend in himself.

What to do?

After some questions, discussion, and coaching, it was clear that Mark already knew what he needed to do, which was to develop a relationship with each of those agency heads.

Not all of those relationships will be equal. Depending on the personalities involved, some will be more “personal” than others—you know, talking about families, vacations, and life changes—while others will be “strictly business.” The goal here, however, is not equality, but developing the best possible relationship with each—whatever that might look like. More than simply tilting the overall situation in his favor, that will ensure his success.

And the reason that Mark had not done so to date was, quite simply, that he hadn’t developed a Practice to get himself there. (Note: A “Practice” is an activity that one does mindfully at first and which can become habitual over time that is intended to lead to a reasonably expected outcome or result.)

Since Mark didn’t have a Practice for this, we came up with one together: he is scheduling 30 minutes in his calendar every Thursday morning to call the agency heads. He’ll start at the top of the list and work down. Some days one call will use the entire 30 minutes; other days the 30 minutes may be spread over a series of voicemail messages as he works down the list. (“Hi, Joan, this is Mark. Just thought I’d give you a call and see how things are going with you there at XYZ . . . . “)

If a conflict arises, he may move the 30 minutes to another time or day, but he can’t delete it.

When he gets to the end of the list, he starts again at the top.

He’s going to let me know how it goes after a couple of weeks.

I already know. I know because I understand the simple power and powerful simplicity of Developing Practices. Indeed, Developing Practices is perhaps the most important tool I use to maintain my own personal Life Balance program.

Practices don’t need to be complex or hard to do as evidenced by the one we came up with for Mark. What they do need to be is mindful, regularly scheduled, and filled with intention and attention—as the Zen saying goes, “When you wash the dishes, wash the dishes.”

If Mark makes, well, a practice of this Practice of regularly calling his agency heads, it will change everything. That’s already a foregone conclusion. The only question is whether he will in fact embrace it as a Practice, and that is up to him as it is with each of us.

Where do you want to go? What Practices have you developed and practiced to get yourself there? What Practices do you want to develop now?

So, what’s stopping you?

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself last Saturday night.

As if I don’t have enough things to handle in my life, I’ve recently been diagnosed with sleep apnea accompanied by severe sleep-related oxygen desaturation, which means that the oxygen level of my blood drops to dangerous levels while I am sleeping.

If you don’t know what sleep apnea is—I didn’t until someone told me about it who suspected that I was suffering from it—it’s a condition that causes you to stop breathing when you fall asleep. All night long as your body begins to starve for oxygen, your brain wakes you up to get you to start breathing again, although rarely to the point of full consciousness; you wake up just enough to disturb your otherwise normal sleep patterns.

Sleep apnea can be dangerous. Consider what could happen if just once your brain fails to wake you up when you’ve stopped breathing. The more common result is that people with untreated sleep apnea fail to get adequate levels of Stage 2, Stage 3, and REM sleep, each of which is essential for complete rest of the body and mind. Some experience serious side effects from this sleep deprivation. Long-term effects can include severe heart problems.

In my case, I’m awakened an average of 45.13 times per hour! As a consequence, instead of the optimal 2+ hours of REM sleep each night, I am averaging about 35 minutes. The Stage 2 and Stage 3 sleep results are just as bad.

I know these statistics because I underwent a “sleep study” about four weeks ago to analyze my sleep patterns. During the study, sensors and electrodes were placed on me just about everywhere to record the activity of my heart, lungs, brain, and muscles. Air flow from my nose and mouth was continuously monitored as was the oxygen level in my blood.

The combined report and diagnosis that resulted was both comprehensive and frightening.

The sleep study itself was not pleasant. Strange environment, strange bed, and then I had more wires and sensors glued, taped, strapped, and clipped onto me than I have had cumulatively in a lifetime of medical procedures! Although I slept enough for the technicians to get the data they needed, it was extraordinarily uncomfortable. I found myself needing to crawl into my own bed when I got home the next morning and “sleeping” the entire morning away. Even with that, it took me a couple of days to fully recover from the experience.

Saturday I was back at the same facility for a second night. This time I knew what was coming and I knew it was going to be worse. Having already been diagnosed with sleep apnea, the purpose of this visit was to calibrate the air pressure necessary for the CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) mask I will wear while sleeping to keep my breathing going, most probably for the rest of my life. For this night at least, the face mask was going to be in addition to all the previously mentioned sensors.

Like I said, I was feeling sorry for myself and that feeling was erupting into a combination of frustration and anger—with myself and others—creating a downward spiral.

There was a moment when everything shifted—when I remembered something that changed everything.

It happened while I was returning to the car to get my medical card. I had already given it to the facility receptionist the last time I was there, but they said they needed to photocopy it again. (Can you tell I was annoyed about having to go get it?)

At that moment I remembered what I constantly tell clients and audiences: you can change everything about your circumstances by moving into gratitude. No matter how dire your circumstances, there is always something to be grateful for. Find that thing for which you can experience true gratitude, no matter how small it might be; feel genuine gratitude for it, and everything will start to shift.

I started by hesitantly acknowledging that, no matter how difficult the treatment was going to be for this life-long condition, the diagnosis might very well have saved my life.

At that instant I saw something else: I had left the dome light in my car on when I arrived and was gathering things to bring into the sleep facility. If I hadn’t gone out for that insurance card, I would most likely not have been able to start the car the next morning—after what I was expecting was going to be a very difficult night.

It was a very little thing, but it was all the confirmation I needed.

I immediately started looking for other things to be grateful for. They showed up—in a torrent! Everything from Fred, the technician assigned to me that night who was terrific at explaining things, calming my fears, and making me as comfortable as was possible in the circumstances to waking up the next morning feeling surprisingly well-rested for the first time in years to the realization that I’m in the 1% of people who don’t have significant problems getting accustomed to CPAP therapy.

It’s amazing what focusing on gratitude (and a few extra hours of REM sleep) can do!

Choose to have a great day, Ace!

[Note: I first wrote about using gratitude to harness the power of The Law of Mind Action (now, more commonly, “The Law of Attraction”) in my book, Your Authentic Self: Be Yourself at Work in 2002. That chapter is included as a separate blog here (”Chapter 2: Apply the Law of Attraction”), although I’ve changed the references to The Law of Attraction, since the success of The Secret has made that nomenclature more popular.]